


we're far from ordinary people

by angelica_barnes



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Secrets, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Zayn Leaves One Direction, or at least he thinks about it, some of my useless attempts at humor i'm sorry i'm not funny, tooth-rotting fluff i repeat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-07-08 00:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19860541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelica_barnes/pseuds/angelica_barnes
Summary: inspired by this little outburst:OH MY GOD what if zayn is like the lovechild of apollo and aphrodite which is why his voice is amazing and he’s so goddamn beautiful and he quits the band because the boys get close to finding out but they drag him back and when he confesses to this they’re all like “holy shit i thought i was the only one” cause they're all gods' kids tooAKA: i was watching zayn and thinking about how perfect he is and needed an explantion so here ya go(again i'm very sorry for this) :) :) :)





	we're far from ordinary people

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from "Ordinary People" by Bugzy Malone ft. JP Cooper
> 
> PLAYLIST (in order):
> 
> [Zayn] Beautiful People (Ed Sheeran, Khalid)  
> [Harry] West (Sleeping At Last)  
> [Liam] Ghost of You (5 Seconds of Summer)  
> [Niall] Lighthouse (G.R.L.)  
> [Louis] I’m Gonna Show You Crazy (Bebe Rexha)  
> [Zayn] Wasted (MKTO)  
> [Harry] If This Is Love (Ruth B)  
> [Liam] My Only One (Sebastian Yatra, Isabela Moner)  
> [Niall] Never Enough (Citizen Queen cover)  
> [Louis] Lose Myself (k?d, Phil Good)  
> [Zayn] when the party’s over (Billie Eilish)  
> [Harry] After You (Meghan Trainor)  
> [Liam] The Other Side (Ruelle)  
> [Niall] Older (Sasha Sloan)  
> [Louis] Amnesia (5 Seconds of Summer)  
> [epilogue] Never Stop (Wedding Version) (SafetySuit)

**ZAYN**

_ we don’t fit in well cause we are just ourselves. _

_ this is my only fear: that we’ve become beautiful people. _

_ that’s not who we are, we are not beautiful. _

It doesn’t take long for him to figure out he’s different. Most of his friends pray for puberty to come and hit them already, cause they can’t get a girl or some shit, only to be disappointed when it doesn’t really fix them up to be models like in magazines.

Zayn doesn’t have that problem. He’s gorgeous, always has been, the most eye-catching person in the room effortlessly. His friends ask him how he does it, what products he uses, which concealer he applies, and he just shrugs sheepishly, because he doesn’t. He has no need for any of that, just naturally pretty, and soon enough his friends blow him off for it, jealous of all the girls hanging off Zayn’s arms that he rejects.

Because of this, Zayn starts experimenting with himself more. He starts wearing more black, more earrings, more eyeliner, and starts playing around with the labels that people throw at him, picking and choosing which ones he allows to stick around.

It’s during this experimenting that Zayn first picks up a microphone during karaoke night with his family, covering a slow rendition of  _ Halo _ by Beyonce. He opens his eyes afterwards to gaping mouths and wide eyes, and figures out that apparently, his voice isn’t half-bad.

Two years later and he’s trembling on the X-Factor stage, next to four boys whose names he doesn’t even know.

**HARRY**

_ time moves slow when half of your heart has yet to come home. _

_ i can’t get you out of my mind. _

_ i solemnly swear that i’ll never try. _

_ we’ll be just fine. _

Harry’s always been kinda obsessed with Greek mythology. Mainly because his two moms often told him they were goddesses when he was younger, only to become tight-lipped as soon as he was old enough to remember it. So he’s left to figure out who they are on his own.

His first mom is pretty obviously Hera, haughty and proud, carrying herself with the air of a queen. Harry’s always admired her for her ability to hold her head high through anything, even when a strange man had shown up at their house and screamed at Hera to come home, come back to Olympus. Not that three year old Harry knew what that meant at the time, shaking like a leaf as he clung to his other mom’s dress at the top of the stairs until the man went away.

His second mom is Hestia, Harry finds, full of warmth and compassion always, and sometimes if he looks hard enough he can see flames flicker in her brown eyes. She’s supportive and quiet in it, standing behind Harry and beside Hera through everything the world throws at them, and Harry wonders as he reads his Greek books how Hestia and Hera could have possibly found each other in all that chaos, and why on earth they’ve chosen to stay together and raise him.

But sure enough, when he first sings in front of an audience, they’re there as a part of it, cheering and clapping enthusiastically, and he smiles at them when they gather him in their arms, proud parents of a sixteen year old fool.

**LIAM**

_ so I drown it out like I always do, _

_ dancing through our house _

_ with the ghost of you. _

Liam doesn’t see the sky until he’s nine years old, kept in the Underworld by his parents. They don’t want him out of their sight or in the mortal world, where they irrationally fear he’ll get hurt, despite him informing them that he’s a god; what could the humans possibly do?

But still, Liam’s a shy kid, so he doesn’t mind it too much. He likes wandering the Fields of Asphodel with his mother, clutching Persephone’s hand tight as Hades wanders ahead, growling at any souls who don’t bow to their queen and little prince.

He likes weaving flower crowns from the blossoms that sprout from his mother’s skin, plucking them gently and tucking one behind his ear. His favorites are daisies, and when Persephone finds out, she tries to grow as many of them as possible for him.

But when his mother’s gone for the spring and summer, Hades takes over. Not that Liam isn’t close with his father year round, but it’s easier when Persephone is gone, since his parents like to put on a disgusting lovefest whenever they’re too close to each other.

Hades teaches Liam how to play video games, and brings comic books back from earth for him. He helps Liam find flowers to weave when Persephone’s not there to grow them, and he nurses Liam’s love of singing until Liam is belting out Adele for fallen soldiers in Elysium.

On Liam’s ninth birthday, he chases Persephone up and out of the Underworld, with Hades screaming behind him. As he breaks through the surface, crying for his mother, he finds a blue sky that leaves him breathless, an endless display of light and noise and  _ life _ .

**NIALL**

_ I’ll go to war for you, let them bring it. _

_ I’ll take on the world for you, better believe it. _

Niall’s dad is the one who raises him. Alone.

Sure, his mom visits, of course she does. About once a week, enough for him to call her Mum, but she’s still mostly gone from his life. Hermes doesn’t seem to mind, because he and Artemis were never meant to be anything, what with her being aromantic (though she hates that there’s a word for it) and Hermes being an eternal bachelor. But they don’t mind working together to raise Niall, for awhile, until he’s three and Artemis starts to miss being outside since Niall is an indoor kid (that changes, but not fast enough). So she starts to pull away.

By the time he’s fifteen, he’s mended fences with his mom, has started to call her successfully when she’s not around, and Hermes even has above tepid conversations with her. It’s still tense, but Niall’ll take what he can get.

When he starts to sing to Justin Beiber and Michael Buble in his room, his dad buys him a guitar and tells him to follow his dreams. He does, which leads him outside, on the streets, playing his guitar randomly to strangers and scribbling down lyrics on the inside of his arm. Sometimes it earns him a few dollars, and then a few dozen, and soon enough he’s got enough for a ticket to the X-Factor audience.

His dad takes it from him, says he’ll use it himself, and Niall’s about to cry and say he hates him when his dad shoves an audition form his way, and Niall feels something in his chest akin to whatever his mother felt when she looked out the window with his three year old self.

Want.

**LOUIS**

_ there’s a war inside my head. _

_ sometimes I wish that I was dead. _

_ and I search hard only to find _

_ there’s not a single thing that’s wrong with my mind. _

Louis is smart. That’s obvious from very young, even as he slurs his words and forgets syllables. Louis Tomlinson is  _ smart _ .

He gets it from his mom, his dad says, laid back on the couch watching a soap opera, and Louis shrugs, figuring he’s right. Athena is a brilliant woman, one whose hands are as gentle as they are strong.

Louis is told - many, many times - that he looks like his parents. Strikingly so, with his dad’s blue blue eyes and his mother’s soft feathery hair. He takes it as a compliment, because his parents are the best and most beautiful people he knows. Almost unnaturally so, but he’s been told not to dwell on that.

He finds out they’re gods similarly to how he imagines kids find out they’re adopted - they have a loud argument one night that wakes him up, and he wanders into the kitchen to see them each five inches off the ground, his dad on a wave and his mother held up by snakes and owls.

He stares until they notice him, and they sit him down, take his hands and tell him about how Greek mythology might not be so mythical.

He just shrugs and asks if they can please keep it down from now on so he can go to sleep, and with a slap on the head from Athena and kiss on the cheek from Poseidon, Louis goes back to bed.

Then he wakes up, gets in the car and auditions for the X-Factor, grinning when he glances to his side and sees his parents in the wings.

**INTERLUDE**

Five boys, destined to cross paths, tied together by the Fates themselves, sharing one soul.

This is sure to go well.

_ 2015 _

**ZAYN**

_ am I crazy to think that I could be in love when it all ends up wasted? _

_ I’d give you my heart but I’d just fuck it up. _

_ we’d end up wasted. _

Zayn steps outside the tour bus and breathes in deep, relishing the cool night air in his lungs. He reaches into his pocket for his lighter, already lifting the cigarette to his lips. He takes a drag and glances around, and then, satisfied with the belief that he’s alone, pulls out his phone and dials his mom’s number.

“Zaynie!” His mother squeals as she answers, and Zayn huffs out a laugh, tempted to remind her that he called yesterday and he’s  _ twenty-two _ , for crying out loud.

Instead he lets it go, smiling, “Hey, Mom. How’re you?”

“Just fantastic, love,” she babbles. “Your father’s still playing guitar even though it’s one in the morning and I’m listening to that new song of yours on repeat. What’s it called again? Pacing? Races? Something like that.”

Zayn smiles, amused. “Spaces?”

She shouts in excitement and he can practically see her beaming and nodding through the phone, “Yes, that one! I love it, it’s so lovely.”

Zayn chuckles. “Thanks, Mom. Glad you like it.”

His mother giggles. They sit there in silence for a few seconds, unsure of what else to say, and then his mom’s voice comes through again, soft and concerned.

“Sad, though, Zaynie. You alright?”

Zayn’s smile fades and he shrugs, knowing she can’t see him. “Yeah. Just, it gets hard keeping it from them. Eventually they’re gonna start asking how I never get hurt.”

His mom sighs. “Zayn, darling. I don’t think any of those boys are observant enough to catch on to that, as much as you love them. They’re a little dense, if you haven’t noticed.”

Zayn bites his lip, not needing to ask how his mom knows about that. The love thing. The  _ in love  _ thing, which Zayn’s worked pretty hard not to mention, despite knowing that his mom is the literal embodiment of all things romance.

“Yesterday Harry said I was pretty enough to be Aphrodite, Mom,” he says instead of dwelling on it, “because you know how obsessed he is with Greek shit. Soon enough he’s gonna say something about Apollo and my voice and I’m not gonna be able to deny it.”

Aphrodite is silent for a minute before saying softly, “Do you honestly think you should?”

Zayn doesn’t answer, unsure of what she means. Obviously he should deny it; how would his boys react if he told them he was a god?

“I just, I mean,” his mother struggles to explain, “those boys are your life. I’m not sure they’d even bat an eyelash.”

Zayn suddenly feels tears on his lashes and blinks them back, sniffing. “I think they would, Mom.”

Aphrodite pauses, and he knows she’s probably chewing on her lip, trying to figure out what to say next. Finally she sighs, “I just want you to be happy, Zaynie. If that means leaving, so be it, but just think about it, okay?”

Zayn nods, then remembers she can’t see him and whispers, “Yeah, yeah. Okay. I’ve gotta go now, Mom, can you say goodnight to Baba for me?”

“Of course, honey. Though please do visit soon, Apollo’s gone a little mad with just me here and I can’t say I blame him.”

Zayn laughs. “Yeah. Love you.”

“Love you too, darling. Goodnight.”

**HARRY**

_ it’s been a while since I smiled and I meant it for all my heart. _

_ but the idea of leaving this behind, it tears me apart. _

_ if this is love, why do you break me down? _

When Zayn comes back onto the bus, he looks exhausted, weighed down by some invisible burden. Harry smiles at him from Louis’ bunk and Zayn returns the sentiment weakly as he collapses onto Liam’s, turning and curling into the other boy’s arms.

He sighs in contentment, closing his eyes as he snuggles into Liam’s side. Liam chuckles and kisses Zayn’s head, smiling into his boyfriend’s hair.

“Family trouble?” He asks, and Zayn seems to freeze up for a second before relaxing back into Liam’s touch. He shakes his head.

“Nah, just Mom being nosy again,” he mumbles, and Liam hums. He opens his mouth to ask another question when Harry suddenly gasps, sitting up and drawing the attention of all four others.

“You okay, Hazza?” Louis tentatively asks, halfway up off the couch already, and Harry nods quickly, stuttering out a reassurance.

“Yeah, yeah, just… forgot I haven’t called my parents in awhile.” That’ll hold them over, he thinks, because they can’t know the real reason.

Being Hestia’s kid, Harry can sense the bonds between people that constitutes them as ‘home’ for each other. It was there almost instantaneously when he met Louis, and showed up in the next few days with Zayn, Liam, and Niall. It’s been there in his head ever since, a soft humming sound in the back of his mind that grows louder the farther he is away from them.

But since Harry can sense homes, he can also feel broken ones. And the humming in his head has grown sharper and sharper recently, less a comforting presence and more a bee right next to his ear, and now it’s turned to a scream, echoing loudly in his head.

Their home’s broken. One of them is pulling away, trying to sever their bond to the other four, contemplating leaving -

“Zayn,” Harry suddenly gasps, and Louis sits back down finally as Zayn sits up, Liam following.

“Yeah, Hazza? What is it?”

His voice is soft, hardly the voice of someone who is trying to hurt them, but that only raises more questions for Harry. He looks up at Zayn with wide eyes, his voice breaking as he asks what he doesn’t want to know the answer to.

“You’re leaving?” He whispers, and Zayn is up in an instant, wandering over to Harry and sitting down beside him. He wraps his arms around Harry as the curly-haired boy tries to make sense of this through the screeches in his head. Finally he covers his ears, unable to block it out by sheer concentration.

“Harreh,” Niall says slowly, “what’re you talking about?”

Harry doesn’t answer, curling in on himself in Zayn’s arms. He squeezes his eyes shut and focuses, trying to push the screams in his head out.

_ I’m home, I’m home, I’m home… _

There’s some rustling and suddenly it’s Louis beside him, the cold of his fingertips welcome against Harry’s tight and sweaty skin, like a prison in his panic.

“Hazza, love, can you open your eyes for me?”

Harry forces himself to do what Louis is asking of him, staring straight ahead at Zayn, looking terrified in Liam’s arms.

“Good, good,” Louis murmurs. “See? Zayn’s not going anywhere, he’s right here. It’s fine, you’re fine, Hazza -”

“Why?” Harry blurts out, and Zayn looks down at his and Liam’s tangled hands, tracing one of Liam’s tattoos with his pointer finger.

Louis sighs. “Harry, he’s not -”

“Reasons,” Zayn interrupts, voice quiet. “Nothing I can talk about right now, or maybe ever, but there are reasons.”

Suddenly the air is dead silent, and so heavy that no one dares to even try and breathe.

**LIAM**

_ yes, I love you. _

_ I can’t believe that every night you’re by my side. _

_ promise I’ll stay here til the morning. _

_ my only one, there’s no one else. _

Because of how she and Hades had met and fallen in love, which Liam has read about in five million different books, Persephone has always encouraged Liam to see the best in people. To understand that there may be more to them than he’ll ever know, including motivations and troubles that Liam himself couldn’t possibly imagine. Because of this, she’s always said, assume that they have reasons, and know that none of them are him.

So when Zayn had come to bed crying one night, Liam hadn’t questioned what it was that had prompted Zayn wanting to leave. He knew that his boyfriend had reasons, and probably damn good ones if they meant leaving their family, so he’d only held Zayn until he’d fallen asleep and let it be.

But Harry’s not like Liam. He needs to know why, having never understood why people keep secrets. Harry has been with the loves of his life since the day they all met and no one else before them, and hence has never had to pine quietly. All the boys have met Harry’s mothers, and hence know that Harry has never had anything but support and love from them. And then Harry had been shoved back into the shadows of the closet with the rest of them when they had been found out, and hence has hated secrets ever since, because even people who have secrets don’t want to become one.

So Harry runs from the bus in tears as soon as Zayn says those dreaded words, and Louis is about to follow when Niall does it for him, rushing out after their mess of curls shouting Harry’s name.

Louis turns to Zayn with hurricanes in his eyes, fists clenched by his sides. Liam’s arms tighten protectively around their boyfriend, challenging Louis to  _ say something, I dare you. _

Unfortunately, this is Louis Tomlinson, and Louis Tomlinson has never backed down from a dare and probably won’t start now.

Louis’ angry voice suddenly breaks the tense silence, shouting obscenities and cusses and questions at Zayn as the caramel-skinned boy sits motionless in Liam’s arms.

“So you’re just gonna leave when things get a little hard? We’ve all been forced back for _years_ and what, you have to fake-propose to Perrie and suddenly you’re ready to go, are you crazy -”  
“Shut up, Louis,” Liam growls, silencing Louis’ furious slurs. “Zayn’s had it just as bad as the rest of us and you know it. Besides, it’s not your life, is it?”

Now, Liam may be understanding and kind due to Persephone, but he’s still Hades’ kid and he’s not afraid to send their prick of a boyfriend to Tartarus if needed.

Said boyfriend is still steaming, practically trembling with rage. Liam stands up with a kiss to Zayn’s head and a whispered “love you” in his ear, facing Louis with the same sort of hostility.

“Look, Lou, he says he has his reasons. And it’s  _ Zayn _ , c’mon, you know he’d never leave unless those reasons were damn good ones.”

Louis narrows his eyes and Liam feels Zayn’s hand curl around Liam’s jeans, a silent plea for him to stop.

And Liam is about to do that, back down and pull Zayn into his arms when Louis’ voice pierces the air.

“You do realize one of those reasons could be you, right?”

Liam feels the air leave his lungs in a flash, suddenly unable to breathe even as Zayn starts shaking his head frantically and stands up to pull Liam against him, closer, closer. But the words have already planted themselves in Liam’s brain and now he can’t erase them.

_ You. You. You. _

**NIALL**

_ darling, without you, _

_ all the shine of a thousand spotlights will never be enough. _

_ towers of gold are still too little. _

_ these hands could hold the world but it’ll never be enough for me. _

Niall finds Harry crouched against the back corner of the tourbus, crying into his hands. His curls are limp and stringy, wet with Harry’s tears as he tries to cover his face with them. Niall settles silently beside him, reaching out one hand to pull Harry’s from his face, tangling their fingers together.

They sit there in the quiet together, not speaking, as the moon shows from behind the clouds, washing them in silver. Niall closes his eyes, feeling the moonlight course through his veins, then opens them and smiles at the sight of the metallic silver beneath his skin.

Harry doesn’t seem to notice, too caught up in trying to breathe to notice that Niall is glowing, his eyes clear white. Niall shifts closer to Harry, leaning his head on his shoulder, and hesitantly wills his wings into visible existence, unfurling them around Harry.

Harry gasps at the unfamiliar tickle of feathers against his skin and opens his eyes, turning to Niall and gasping at the sight. He reaches out a hand and touches one of Niall’s wings, combing his fingers through the eggshell feathers. Niall watches, blank white eyes unblinking as they take in Harry’s wonder.

Finally, Harry breaks the silence with a breathless whisper.

“What the hell, Niall.”

Niall bursts out laughing, and Harry does too, tears welling up in his eyes again. They collapse against each other, shaking with giggles, and Harry gasps as Niall’s cold silver blue veins touch his skin.

“So what’s the deal?” He eventually manages to choke out through bouts of laughter, and Niall shuts up suddenly, pulling away. Harry sits up, watching him intently, and Niall shrugs.

“Born like this. Only shows up in the moonlight though,” he explains, and Harry reaches out and takes his hand. Niall smiles, the expression small and soft. “Except the wings. They’re invisible, and kind of non-touchable, if that makes sense? Like, you can only touch them if I’ve made the conscious decision to let you.”

Harry nods, speechless, and then tackles Niall in a hug, burying his damp face in Niall’s neck. He feels the other boy’s arms and wings wrap around him and closes his eyes.

After a minute or two, Harry pulls away, and is faced by Niall as he’s always been, blue eyes and blank skin and wingless. The blonde smiles and stands, offering Harry his hand, and they walk back inside together, silently agreeing to keep whatever it was out there a secret.

Secrets seem to weigh heavy in this group, and Niall wonders how long Zayn has been keeping his in.

How long things have been so unbearably wrong.

**LOUIS**

_ I remember when we used to be so close. _

_ every now and then I think of when we broke. _

_ baby, I’ll still be there. _

_ I’ll never let you walk through hell. _

_ I would lose myself for you. _

As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets them. Liam’s face crumbles as Zayn starts shaking his head frantically, turning to Liam and shaking him, tears welling in his eyes as he takes Liam’s face in his hands.

“No, no, no,” Zayn rasps as Liam’s eyes meet his. “No, Li, you have nothing to do with it, no, Liam, I promise -”

“What about you?”

Liam’s voice pierces the air, his eyes leaving Zayn’s to bore into Louis’. There’s thunder in his eyes and Louis feels his fists clench by his sides as he stares back, Zayn caught in between them.

Louis licks his lips, a sadistic smile settling on his lips, and the air seems to grow colder.

“What was that, Li?”

“Maybe it’s you, huh?” Liam hisses. “You ever think of that?”

Louis feels it when his eyes start to glow, everything in his vision tainting blue, and lightning cracks outside just as Harry and Niall come back onto the bus. They stare at the scene in confusion, and then thunder rumbles and Liam lunges.

Outside, the rain starts to  _ pour _ .

Liam stops, his hands an inch from Louis’ neck. His eyes flicker around the bus, barely registering Zayn’s fingers grasping at his sleeve and Harry and Niall’s terrified expressions in the doorway.

Liam meets Louis’ eyes again, pulling his hands back slowly.

“Louis.”

The man in question glares, still daring Liam to just  _ try _ and hit him, but Liam’s no longer looking at him.

“Louis. Make it stop.”

Finally someone dares to breathe. Harry starts shaking, grasping at Niall’s shirt with trembling fingers and pulling the now crying blonde to his chest. Louis blinks.

The blue is gone, and the thunder cuts off mid-rumble, lightning turning back to dark clear skies, not a raindrop in sight. Louis steps back, breathing hard as Liam watches him with wary eyes.

Zayn crumples to the ground with a sob.

Louis immediately falls down beside him, pulling Zayn into his arms and kissing his head, murmuring words of comfort into his hair as Liam kneels next to them, his hand over Louis’ on Zayn’s back.

“I’m sorry,” Louis whispers, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. “I’m sorry, I love you.”

Zayn shakes his head, squeezing his eyes shut. “‘S fine, Lou. ‘S fine.”

Harry and Niall wander over hesitantly to join the group hug, all of them curling themselves around each other.

“So,” Louis manages to croak after maybe ten minutes. “We need to talk, don’t we?”

Niall laughs wetly and Harry nods, smiling weakly.

“Yeah, yeah, I guess we do.”

**ZAYN**

_ don’t you know too much already? _

_ I’ll only hurt you if you let me. _

_ call me friend but keep me closer. _

_ let me let you go. _

_ nothing ever stops you leaving. _

They all sit down in a circle on the floor. Some criss-cross, some on their knees, all glancing from face to face nervously. This is the first real fight they’ve had since they met, and it’d be nervewracking even if it wasn’t, what with them being each other’s soulmates and all.

(Not that any of the others know that, but Zayn’s talked to his mom enough to know that they’re all tied together in some irreplaceable way.)

“So,” Zayn clears his throat, squeezing Louis’ hand in an attempt at a comforting gesture (for Louis or for himself, he’s not sure), “let’s talk.”

But no one says anything. Niall doesn’t even look up at the words, and Harry keeps his face frusturatingly neutral.

Finally Liam speaks, softly and with a gentle hand on Zayn’s knee.

“Why’re you thinking about leaving? This clearly isn’t new.”

Zayn shrugs, not wanting to open his mouth and accidentally let something slip. He stays silent for a moment, choosing his words carefully.

“Why’d you ask Louis to make the rain stop?” He says, voice tight and controlled. Louis’ fingers tighten around his. “And why was he able to?”

He turns towards Louis with an accusing gaze, and the blue-eyed boy looks away, fidgeting with a loose string on the carpet before Harry reaches over and grabs his hand.

“Yeah, Lou,” he whispers, soft. “Why?”

Louis sighs and looks up at the group with a sad smile.

“Tell you what. I’ll tell you why.”

There’s a collective breath around the room and Niall finally looks up, over at Liam, who twines their fingers together.

Louis turns to Zayn. “But you have to tell us too.”

Suddenly the air is back to unbearably heavy, and Zayn glares at Louis, growling.

“I can’t.”

Louis rolls his eyes, but his fingers squeezing Zayn’s prove he does it out of love. “Yes you can, Zee. Come on, how bad could it possibly be?”

Zayn looks away, muttering under his breath. “It’s not possible, that’s the problem.”

Louis opens his mouth to retort when Harry suddenly blurts, “Niall has wings.”

Their heads all whip towards him, eyes wide with disbelief, and Harry blushes red as Niall grasps his fingers, hissing Harry’s name through his teeth.

Harry looks down at his and Niall’s hands, pulling the blonde boy’s up to his lips to press a kiss to it.

“Can’t be much more impossible than that, right?” He murmurs.

None of them dare to move. Zayn sighs as Niall’s wings come into view, white and shivering behind him as Liam tries to calm him by running his fingers through Niall’s hair.

“Okay, fine.”

They all turn toward him and he takes a deep breath, shuffling closer to the middle of the circle. The boys follow him until they’re so close that they’re all touching each other in some way, shape or form.

“You guys know the Greek gods?” He asks, and Harry opens his mouth with an excited smile. “Besides you, Harry.”

Harry pouts and Louis leans over to kiss the expression off his face with a fond smile. When Louis pulls away, he turns back towards Zayn with a soft look in his eyes.

“Yeah, Zaynie. What about ‘em?”

Zayn’s lips part with the intention of speaking, but he can’t get the words out. Liam seems to sense this and leans over to kiss the side of Zayn’s head and whisper in his ear.

“Love you.”

Zayn smiles shakily, returning the sentiment quietly, and Liam raises his fingers from Zayn’s knee to hold his hand out to Zayn, palm facing up and open as a daisy grows in it.

Zayn’s jaw drops in surprise as Liam picks the flower from his skin and hands it to Zayn, “For you.”

Zayn sputters, trying to process what he’s just seen, but accepts the flower and Liam’s kiss pressed to his lips anyway. He then turns back to the group to see matching stares of awe.

“So I guess it’s not gonna be much of a bombshell if I tell you guys I’m Aphrodite and Apollo’s kid, right?”

Everyone’s eyes immediately snap to him, and he offers a crooked smile, shrugging.

“Surprise?”

**HARRY**

_ if you have to go, be my ghost. _

_ hope you haunt my dreams so I won’t be alone. _

_ cause I’d give up hope if you weren’t there for me. _

_ I won’t be able to love nobody else. _

_ so if you go, won’t you take me with you? _

“Oh thank god,” Harry suddenly blurts, breaking the shocked silence like shattered glass. “I thought I was the only one.”

“What?” The other four ask all at once, and Harry smiles sheepishly, but is unable to keep the relief from his face for long.

“Hestia and Hera’s, over here,” he admits, proudly, and Zayn grins, biting his lip. Liam laughs, hanging his head and shaking it in disbelief.

“Hades and Persephone’s,” he offers quietly, and Zayn kisses the side of his head as Niall mumbles his truth out too.

“Hermes and Artemis.”

Louis cackles, loud and happy, collapsing across the circle and landing with his head in Niall’s lap. He takes the blonde boy’s hand and grins, accepting the kiss Niall bends down to press to his lips.

“Athena and Poseidon’s,” he breathes as they separate, and Harry giggles, twining his fingers through Louis’ free ones.

“So we’re all gods then?” Zayn asks tentatively. “Like, seriously?”

Harry giggles and falls forward into Zayn’s lap, curling up in his arms like a kitten as Zayn smiles and cards his fingers through Harry’s curls. “Yeah, I guess so.”

They all just laugh for awhile, trying to process this unbelievable information. Soon the chortles lapse into silence and soft smiles sent each other’s way, kisses exchanged between curled up lips.

“So that’s why you wanted to leave, Zaynie?” Niall finally murmurs. “Because you were tired of hiding it?”

Zayn offers a guilty smile and shrugs. “Yeah, I guess. I knew you’d eventually notice that I never really get hurt. Or age much. Or find out about my abilities. I thought it’d be easier if I just left.”

Louis perks up at Zayn’s confession, blue eyes seeking out Zayn’s over Harry’s mop of curls.

“Wait, you have abilities?”

Zayn smirks. “Duh.”

Harry looks up at him with excited eyes, wrapping his arms around Zayn’s waist. “Like what?”

Liam smiles at Harry affectionately, running his fingers through the boy’s fluffy curls before leaning over to rest his head on Zayn’s shoulder, who grins and kisses the top of Liam’s head.

“I mean, the singing, obviously. From my dad.” He pauses to smile smugly at Louis, his eyes glinting with mischeif. “And my stunning looks from Mom.”

Louis rolls his eyes and smacks Zayn’s knee, illiciting a laugh from the caramel-skinned boy and a grin from Niall. Liam smiles at the feeling of Zayn’s hands brushing through his hair, and Harry giggles again, shut up with a kiss from Zayn.

“I can tell when people are in love,” Zayn continues, his voice softening with something familiar. “Every day, whenever we’re together, even when we’re not, I can feel that you guys are in love.”

He blushes, looking down at Harry with a pleased little smile. “With me.”

Harry coos and starts pressing ticklish kisses to Zayn’s stomach as the Bradford boy laughs, enveloped in Liam’s arms and pressed against Louis and Niall.

“Anything else?” Liam coaxes gently, and Zayn turns towards him with a blindingly happy smile.

“Not much,” he murmurs. “Just stuff like knowing a lot of stupid things about the sun and writing a whole lot of sappy poetry about you lads.”

Liam grins and kisses him. Louis whines, probably because he hasn’t been kissed for all of ten minutes, so Liam leans over to kiss him too.

“Oh shut up,” he mumbles against Louis’ lips, and the feather-haired boy laughs.

“What about you, Haz?” Niall prods, voice soft. “What can you do?”

The others turn to look at him now, and Harry pulls away from Zayn a bit to settle in his lap, facing the others with his arms wrapped loosely around Zayn’s neck, who presses a kiss to Harry’s cheek.

“I’m proud, I guess,” he starts shyly. “I like having people’s attention,” Louis huffs out a laugh and Harry sticks out his tongue, “yeah, I know, obvious. But I have more influence over others usually, like, I’m pretty good charming people into being on my side.”

Liam reaches out and Harry tangles their fingers together, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“I can, I dunno… sense homes? Sort of? It sounds stupid when I say it like that, but it’s like this dull buzzing in the back of my head whenever I’m around people who are ‘home’ to each other.”

“What about for yourself, Hazza?” Zayn asks. “Can you feel your home?”

Harry smiles softly, pulling away from Liam to tug Zayn in for a kiss, which he gladly returns. Harry pulls away and brushes his thumb across Zayn’s cheek with an adoring look in his eyes.

“You,” he murmurs, then turns his head towards the others, retangling his fingers with Liam’s and squeezing. “All of you.”

Niall laughs happily as Liam and Louis smile, Zayn burying his nose in Harry’s hair. Harry’s smile falters.

“I can feel when a home is broken, too,” he whispers. “That’s how I knew you were leaving.”

The laughter stops, smiles dropping into concerned frowns, and Zayn kisses Harry’s jaw with a guilty mumble. “Sorry, Hazza. I…”

Harry shrugs, tucking his head into the crook of Zayn’s neck. “‘S okay. It’s fixed now.”

He smiles at the other three, uncertain smiles dawning on their faces at Harry’s words. Niall’s voice is small as he asks, “Promise?”

Harry’s smile widens.

“Promise.”

**LIAM**

_ I don’t want to know who we are without each other. _

_ I don’t want to lose part of me. _

_ did we ever see it coming? _

_ will we ever let it go? _

_ we are buried in broken dreams. _

It’s not hard for them to distract themselves from the thing that started all of this in the first place. None of them want to talk about it, so none of them do, and instead they trade stories about their upbringings and what they can do. It’s easier than acknowledging their impending separation.

“So, Liam,” Louis says with a mischevious smile. “Hades and Persephone?”

Liam blushes and ducks his head, shaking with silent laughter. Harry reaches up, splayed across Zayn’s lap again with his head on the floor, and brushes his fingers across Liam’s pink cheeks, smiling as Liam leans down to kiss him.

“I never actually knew what the sun looked like til I was nine,” Liam starts, his voice barely a whisper, and Niall gasps. Liam chuckles to himself - hardly a day goes by that Niall doesn’t find himself outside somehow, someway. None of them have ever loved the outdoors as much as Niall does, never even came close.

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he says in earnest, threading his fingers through Niall’s. “My parents took me through the Fields of Asphodel every day, and it was almost like being in a real meadow. I was happy, I promise. Really happy.”

Niall still looks appalled, but his expression softens at the words. He looks away, back down at Louis in his lap, and smiles.

“I love you,” Zayn suddenly blurts, and Liam turns to look at him, his face warring between pleasure and confusion. Zayn turns scarlet red and shrugs, looking down at Harry to hide his face. “Just, I dunno, you just…”

His words trail off into mumbles and Liam just grins, running a hand through Zayn’s hair before dropping it to take Zayn’s hand. He squeezes, and Zayn squeezes back, seemingly at a loss for words when Liam whispers, “Love you too, Zee.”

Louis clears his throat, interrupting the moment and drawing Liam’s attention back to the others. “So, have you got any special powers or whatever? Besides the wierd flower thing, I mean, which, by the way? Freaky, mate. Bloody terrifying.”

Liam giggles and Louis cracks a pleased smile, reaching up to poke Liam’s cheek. Liam playfully tries to bite his finger and shrugs when he misses.

“I can grow plants, yeah. Also talk to dead people and summon spirits. Nice company usually, or just good invisible body guards.”

Harry lets out a loud laugh at that, but sobers when Liam’s smile drops into a frown and a furrowed brow. He turns to Zayn again, looking extremely apologetic and guilty.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, Zaynie. Really.”

And anyone who knows Liam can tell he means it, from the depths of his bones, but Zayn just looks confused, shaking his head.

“Why? It’s not like you told any of the others either -”

“Because of your grandfather,” Liam blurts, and it feels like all the air has suddenly been sucked out of the room. Zayn freezes, eyes caught on a blank spot on the wall, and Liam starts sputtering out an explanation, desperate to fix what he’s just ripped apart.

“I’m sorry, I - I wanted to bring him back, so you could say goodbye, but I knew that you’d freak out and I thought you guys might kick me out and my parents always told me not to say anything about it and Zayn, I just, I’m so sorry, I can’t even begin -”

“Liam,” Zayn says, so softly Liam almost misses it, his eyes snapping up from the ground to meet Zayn’s own. “Thank you.”

Liam loses his breath, even as everyone else seems to let theirs out. “For what?”

Zayn smiles, his eyes twinkling with happiness and affection. “For thinking about it, you idiot. For wanting to.”

Liam just stares for a second. Then he sags, crumpling sideways against Zayn, who blinks back the tears welling in his eyes and wraps his arms around Liam’s neck, turning his head slightly to kiss the brunette boy’s head.

After a moment, Niall coughs, and four pairs of eyes turn to him. He blushes and clears his throat, offering a nervous grin.

“So do ya wanna explain how you knew about Tommo here?”

**NIALL**

_ the older I get, the more that I see. _

_ my parents aren’t heroes, they’re just like me. _

_ loving is hard, it don’t always work. _

_ you just try your best not to get hurt. _

_ I used to be mad but now I know _

_ sometimes it’s better to let someone go. _

Liam’s face drains of color in an instant. Harry and Zayn are quiet, still, as if statues sent to observe a party they weren’t invited to. Louis starts cursing, every verb accompanied by some creative use of “fucking” or “bloody” or worse.

Niall shrinks back with the force of Louis’ words, withdrawing from the others and curling in on himself. A whimper falls from his lips and silence falls as suddenly as darkness in an eclipse.

Louis immediately wraps his arms around his blonde boyfriend, murmuring comforts and apologies into his ear while pressing kissses to his cheeks and hair as the others watch.

“Shit,” Louis whispers, angry. Luckily Niall has known him long enough to know it’s at himself, but still, he flinches. Louis winces when he sees and shuts his mouth entirely, burying his face in Niall’s neck and rocking them lightly back and forth.

Niall manages to pull his arms loose from where they’re pressed between Louis and him, wrapping them carefully around Louis’ middle. “I’m okay, Lou,” he whispers. “Just wasn’t expecting it, ‘s all. ‘M good.”

Louis nods awkwardly, not lifting his head or opening his eyes, and Niall accepts the acknowledgement of his forgiveness. They all sit in silence, a stifling tension in the air that no one dares to break.

“It was an accident,” Louis finally mumbles, fingers clenching and unclenching from fists. “We were just… fooling around one day, I guess. Just playing FIFA, wrestling whenever we finished a game, kissing a bit. Just stupid stuff.”

He pauses, taking in a shaky breath, and Niall kisses his head. A small smile flickers across Louis’ face and he brushes his lips lightly across Niall’s collarbone, making him shiver.

“And then they… I got a call. We’d fallen somewhere near the coffee table, so Liam just kinda collapsed on top of me as I reached for it. It was so… so  _ peaceful _ , Nialler, almost like it wasn’t our lives. For a second, I even forgot who we were.”

His words come out choked, regretful, sad. Harry slips from Zayn’s lap and crawls over to Louis, wrapping his arms around Louis’ chest from behind and laying his head on Louis’ back. Zayn and Liam crowd in closer too, each taking the same one of Louis’ hands.

“It was them,” Louis whispers, his voice breaking. “Told me I had to go out with Eleanor again, on Haz’s birthday. My best friend, my  _ heart’s _ birthday, and I was damn well going to _ be here _ for it.”

Harry curls his fingers around Louis’ shirt, right over his heart, and rests his mouth against Louis’ neck, blinking back tears. Niall brushes his fingers through Louis’ hair, burying his face in its feathery strands.

“So I got angry. I told them to fuck off, to get a life, to ruin someone else’s. They just kept pushing, telling me to calm down, that I’d do it and I’d do it without complaining. I started shouting, and they hung up.

“I threw my phone across the room. As soon as it touched the wall it started pouring outside, with thunder and lightning and everything. I’d pushed Liam off me at some point and he’d been watching me, and I turned around while I was tearing my hair out and he saw my eyes.”

Louis closes said eyes now, as the others hold their breath, waiting for the ending. Liam’s eyes are sad, reliving the memory as he watches his boyfriend do the same.

“I didn’t want to explain,” Louis whispers. “Liam didn’t push it, just hugged me and told me we’d fight it. That we’d find some way to keep me with you.”

Louis opens his eyes, startling glowing blue, and smiles. Rain patters softly on the windows, a soothing rhythm in the background of their hushed voices.

“And he did. I’m here.”

Liam is crying silently now, hand trembling around Louis’. Zayn smiles sadly.

“You’re here.”

A sob escapes Liam’s lips and Zayn’s eyes flick to him worriedly. Louis just smiles smally up at him.

“Thanks,” he says softly. “For keeping this.”

Liam’s voice is wrecked when he speaks, “The secret or you?”

Louis’ smile widens and he sits up, taking Liam’s face in his hands and wiping his tears away, pressing a soft, chaste kiss to his parted lips.

“Both.”

**LOUIS**

_ I remember the day you told me you were leaving. _

_ I remember the makeup running down your face. _

_ and the dreams you left behind, you didn’t need them. _

_ like every single wish we ever made. _

“What about your parents, Lou?” Harry finally asks softly, and Louis smiles, a distant look in his eyes.

“Not much to say, really. Headstrong, smart. I look like ‘em, people always said. Think I act like ‘em too.”

Liam slings an arm around Louis’ shoulder and presses a kiss to the side of his head. Louis reaches up a hand and threads his fingers through the hand that hangs off his shoulder, leaning back into Liam’s chest. At the sight, Zayn reaches out for Niall, who allows himself to be gathered in the caramel-skinned boy’s arms, Harry’s fingers playing with his.

They sit in comfortable silence for awhile, happy with the way they are. Tired, almost, sleepy as if they’ve been walking through a field of poppies.

“What about you, Nialler?” Louis mumbles, eyelids drooping, and Zayn chuckles softly as Louis yawns in the middle of Niall’s name. “What’s your family like?”

Niall shrugs, dipping his head to kiss Zayn’s wrist. “Kind of broken.”

They wait for him to continue, Zayn’s forehead dropped onto Niall’s shoulder as he murmurs endearments in Urdu against his boyfriend’s shirt. None of them ask what he’s saying, used to this quiet foreign love from Zayn.

“I was sort of a drunken one night stand gone wrong,” Niall admits. “I mean, my mom is  _ Artemis _ . Hermes is the only mistake she ever made.”

They’re quiet as they mull over his words, and then Zayn asks softly, “What do you mean?”

Niall smiles weakly, trying to play it off as not a big deal. “Just that I was never what she wanted. Mom is like the aromantic of aromantics, so she never wanted to marry Dad or settle down, and I got in the way.”

His voice lowers, laced with bitterness.

“She still hangs out with me, but it’s like I’m someone else’s kid sometimes. Like she’s just a bored babysitter, here only for her paycheck.”

Harry leans down to kiss Niall’s cheek, whispering something in his ear that Louis doesn’t catch. At the same time, Liam nudges Louis’ ear with his nose, mumbling something about Niall’s mother being a bitch. Louis doesn’t say it aloud, but he wholeheartedly agrees.

Instead he says, “I like your wings,” softly, because he does, and Niall gives him a wry smile.

“Thanks. Got ‘em from Dad.”

Zayn chuckles into Niall’s neck, murmuring into his skin, “Yeah, I think we got that, Ni.”

Louis worries that maybe joking isn’t the way to go now, bracing himself for the crying and/or yelling that could follow Zayn’s words, but Niall laughs, loud and bright.

“So smart, Zaynie,” he says mockingly. Zayn’s eyes twinkle and a smile spreads across his face, pleased with himself for bringing Niall’s happiness back from wherever people lose it to.

Seeing this, Louis takes a chance and murmurs, “You still gonna go?”

Niall stills in Zayn and Harry’s arms, face hardening. Harry doesn’t move and Liam twitches beneath Louis, fingers fidgeting with the front of Louis’ shirt.

Zayn smiles, the expression bittersweet, a suggestion of the lives they could’ve had.

“Yeah, probably.”

Harry sucks in a breath and Louis wills himself to stay calm, to keep his act together even as the others crumble around him. But to his surprise, no one breaks, though the silence they’re left soaking in feels final, like a bath you know you’ll drown in.

_ 2016 _

**EPILOGUE**

_ I will never stop trying. _

_ I will never stop watching as you leave. _

_ I will never stop losing my breath every time I see you looking back at me. _

_ I will never stop holding your hand. _

_ I will never stop opening your door. _

_ I will never stop choosing you. _

_ I will never get used to you. _

Things with their secrets out in the open are different. Things change, with themselves and with each other, because they don’t have to hide anymore.

Their dynamic is thrown off kilter, but they balance it out. It’s easier to tell when one of them needs another, what’s wrong and how to fix it. Their love is muted now, still prominent and happy and full, but quieter without unnessecary concern and anger.

If it starts raining, someone goes to check on Louis. If Niall can’t sleep, someone takes him up to the top of the roof of whatever hotel they’re staying at. If Harry starts crying when they pass a house, someone wraps their arms around him and tells him how much he is loved over and over. If they walk into a hotel room full of flowers and phantom people, someone finds Liam in the mess and sits with him until the flowers start to rescind and the phantoms float away.

If Zayn leaves, which he does, someone calls him every night to remind him how much they miss him and how close it is to all being over. He doesn’t need to be told how much they love him because he can feel it, but they still pile on top of each other and FaceTime him for the sake of saying it aloud.

And when Liam, Louis, Harry and Niall get off the plane after their last concert, Zayn’s there, waiting for them.

With an obnoxious sign reading  _ BOYFRIENDS  _ in glittery pink font surrounded by red hearts, but they all grin and tackle him anyway, just five laughing idiots once again.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading i hope you enjoyed this product of my useless brain HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND WEEK AND MONTH AND YEAR AND LIFE <3 <3 <3 :) :) :) :)


End file.
